Is Introversion Real? – Quit Using Introversion As An Excuse
Introversion and extroversion (or extraversion) are terms that are thrown around constantly labeling people as this or that.
Which I can’t completely knock on these ideas since people do typically learn more towards one than the other, but I believe that we still have options.
Meaning that just because you are an introvert doesn’t mean that you have a good excuse to not talk, be socially confident, or talk to the opposite sex.
There are no excuses.
I see so many people who go online, and complain about how they suck at socializing pointing the blame at introversion.
The goal with this post is to prevent blaming introversion, and to instead actually work on your ”problems.”
With me personally I am more introverted than extroverted, so I know how it feels to not be naturally out going even though you want to be/want to actually socialize more.
Something that has helped me is just forgetting the idea of extroversion and introversion.
Let’s be real introversion/extroversion is just an idea, and if this idea isn’t benefiting you then you just simply drop it.
If you are someone in which you just look at yourself and say ”oh I can’t talk to be people and be outgoing and socially confident because I’m a little introvert” then forget about introversion this idea is not benefiting you at all.
Something that I’ve experimented with in regards to being more extroverted is that I just simply started talking to people more often and allowing myself to be more open in social situations.
For a while I went full-blown extroverted.
Outgoing, socially confident, starting conversations no problem.
I was able to do this at a place that I worked at. When you worked day shifts it was pretty chill since most of the managers were gone by then.
Either way I started to talk to the people I worked with more often than I just naturally became more extroverted in the process which I still do have my times in which I don’t feel like socializing and needing a break.
Which this experience gets me thinking about whether introversion/extroversion is even really 100% accurate.
Is Introversion/Extroversion Real?
If you had read this far then you will note that I have stated that by just simply socializing more often I became much more extroverted even though I have always been more introverted (except for maybe when I was a little kid who the fuck knows).
So is introversion real? I have no clue maybe to a certain extent, but my thoughts are leaning more towards the fact that social conditioning, our life styles, and our belief systems are going to have more of an impact on someone being more introverted/extroverted.
What I mean by this is that I had more extroverted qualities when I started to socialize, and start conversations more often. Whereas before I didn’t start conversations, or really talk that often.
Meaning that in order to be socially outgoing, and comfortable socializing you have to socialize.
It’s kind of like a muscle which in our society in which people are on their cell phones all day, and families don’t even eat at a kitchen table together any more (and the families that do usually have someone in the group who would rather just eat dinner in their room).
Also you get me for the longest time I played video games for 6-8+ hours every day. I would wake up go to school come back home and play video games all day then during the weekends just play video games, and during the summertime when school was over I would play video games instead of going out with friends.
No wonder I was an introvert with no social confidence, or social skills.
My own experiences mixed with observations along with how humans are social creatures just makes me wonder what is the point in labeling people as being either an introvert who is someone who is shy, and doesn’t talk to people (and if your experiences have been anything like my own people who are more outgoing view you as someone who thinks they are the shit since you don’t talk to anyone even though the real reason why you don’t talk to anyone is due to lack of social skills).
Or someone who is an extrovert who is someone who is socially confident, outgoing, and the life of the party.
Now I can’t completely diss these ideas, but if they are not benefiting you then they need to be dropped.
Which typically means that if you are an introvert who lets the idea of introversion hold you back then you need to drop that shit.
I’ll also note that once I started to socialize less my extroversion skills started to dwindle, and fast.
Something else to think about is the idea that you are labeled as an introvert (by peers or by an introversion/extroversion test), but due to social conditioning along with your lifestyle has made you into someone who is shy and doesn’t talk to other people (even though without that conditioning you would be more extroverted).
This argument also somewhat supports the idea of introversion/extroversion being somewhat useless (in the sense of it being ”oh you are an introvert, and you always will be”).
Sure some people are going to lean more towards introversion as started above just don’t let that shit control your life.
I also have another post on Introversion for anyone who is interested: Don’t Let Introversion Hold You Back